Questions and Answers: Clothing
April 24th, 2008
Question: I am a 16-year-old girl and have a real problem with my mother. She won’t let me wear outfits that are in style. She says they’re immodest. Most girls at my school can wear just about anything. If I wear the clothes my mother wants, I will look old-fashioned.
Answer: The problem between you and your mother is common—and it is not unique to today. Youth’s fashions clashing with parental authority has been happening for many years.
The truth is, your mother is most likely more right than you may want to admit. There are standards for modesty in dress. What are they? You cannot look to the fashion industry for any help. Fashion leaders seem to want to reject all standards. They encourage extremes in order to attract attention—the reverse of modesty. Popular clothing styles often go from weird to worse until some new trend emerges.
Yet generally this one thing remains the same: Clothing styles for young women are designed to be sexually alluring and arousing. Fashion experts know that teens easily empathize with extremes and are mystified by sexuality. So you are targeted for a greedy purpose. Young girls need to take control of their own lives and not be wrongly influenced by irresponsible adults.
It is God who has set and recorded standards in dress for us. It is God who requires modesty in dress for both men and women. Paul wrote that women should “adorn themselves in modest apparel” (1 Timothy 2:9). Modest means “orderly, decorous, of good behavior.” Modest clothing is neat, decorative and should represent good behavior. Modest clothing avoids all extremes, yet is still stylish. Certainly modest clothing that represents good behavior would not arouse sexual lust in boys or men. To remain modest, all women should avoid wearing clothing that is too revealing, too short, or too tight and excessively form-fitting.
Recognize too that God does not expect women to go to an opposite extreme. He does not desire a woman to wear drab clothes. Neither does He require a woman to completely hide the body shape created for her. God desires that women dress neatly, pleasingly and attractively—even with a style that expresses personality and individuality. Truly modest clothing will highlight the beauty in your face and eyes. Actually, the right clothing will make any woman most attractive. In God’s eyes, true modesty in dress is never out of style.
May 20th, 2008 at 9:13 pm
Maybe you can have a Mother/Daughter day out trying on clothes. If you can keep communication open and stay calm and seek her approval and advice perhaps you will win her trust in your judgement. Can you go out of your way to show her you are trying to both please her and develope an attractive style? Can you look for styles in magazines that might be pleasing to you both? Can you spend time with her looking at clothes that are both stylish and conservative? This relationship with your mother is for a lifetime. Trust her and show her she can trust you. She will be there for all the important events in your life.
July 20th, 2008 at 9:12 pm
Well, we’ve got lots of the same problems with our moms but I still look at it in a positive way. She does that to me ’cause she loves me and she wants me to build God’s character through the things I wear. Sometimes I do get angry with her! But I know I still have to follow her to obey the 5th commandment and the 1st commandment with promise and that is to honor our father and mother. Hope you decide well on it.
November 8th, 2008 at 2:16 am
it is very common for most young ladies these days to dress unacceptably.How you dress,say so much about your character.You might not be popular but you will later be respected and honoured.if your mother is leading you to honour God in your dressing,please,be rest assured that a lot of error will be avoided.There are lot of decent fashion clothes that are trendy.There are still a lot of men that appreciate decent dressing.listen to your mummy and let your life be full of peace.