By Gareth Fraser

Frustrated by the generation gap? Here’s your hidden key to harmony in the home!

“Why is it so difficult to talk to my parents? Why do they make life so hard for me? They never let me have my say. How can I honor my parents when they make life so hard for me?”

Sadly, such thoughts and words are often part of many parent-teen relationships. Are they part of yours?

It doesn’t have to be this way. God didn’t design the family to be unhappy and arguing all the time. He wants your relationship with your parents to be happy and fulfilling. So, what does He expect of you?

Did the Bible’s greatest hero, Jesus Christ, ever have difficulty with His parents? If He did, how did He overcome it? His parents, Joseph and Mary, did in fact have problems understanding their son. They knew He was unique and born for a very special purpose (Luke 2:17-19, 33).

As special as He was, His family life was very normal. Much like yours and mine. Well, except for the difficult questions that Jesus would ask His parents that they could not answer for Him!

The Boy Who Went Missing

When He was 12 years old, Jesus went on a trip to Jerusalem with His parents. During this trip He visited the temple and became involved in a long question-and-answer session with Jerusalem’s religious leaders. His thirst for knowledge and understanding at such a young age amazed these leaders. They’d never seen anything like it before (Luke 2:47).

Even at age 12, Jesus was trusted by His parents to make decisions and follow instructions without having to be constantly checked up on. This time, however, Joseph and Mary left Jerusalem and traveled for a full day before they realized that their son was not with any of their friends or relatives. They couldn’t understand. They trusted Him and now He was nowhere to be found. Had Jesus disobeyed His parents?

Joseph and Mary had not seen Jesus all day, and they were getting worried. They had already gone a full day’s journey from Jerusalem to Nazareth. They thought that when dinnertime arrived, He, like most 12 year olds, would be “where the food was.” But he didn’t show! He was missing. Had He just gone off somewhere and missed returning on time for their departure? Mary thought. Why not tell us where He was going? thought Joseph. Was He kidnapped?

They turned back for Jerusalem, worried and concerned. By this time Joseph was getting a little frustrated and began thinking of what he’d say to his son when he found Him.

Three days passed before they finally found Him. He was in the temple talking with religious leaders again. Jesus had spent two nights sleeping somewhere in Jerusalem. Was He okay? Had He run into any trouble?

When His parents found Him, they expressed their concern and worry about Him disappearing like that without even letting them know. But here was an example of His loving and caring parents simply misunderstanding their rather unique son. Upon seeing His parents, Jesus said, “Why did you come looking for me? Didn’t you know that I must be about my Father’s business?” To Joseph and Mary, this became another “unexplainable” experience with their incredibly gifted son. We do know that His mother “kept all these things in her heart” (Luke 2:51).

Unlike His friends in Jerusalem and Nazareth, at age 12 Jesus was already aware of His life goal, the direction in which He was headed—His incredible and unique human potential.

An Example to Follow

But, did Jesus just brush off His parents rudely? No. He set us an example to follow. What happened after His parents corrected Him? He obeyed His parents and went back to Nazareth with them.

Even though this special youth was already aware of His life goal, He still stayed with His parents for many more years. Since He was conceived by God the Father, and God demands that all things be done decently and in order (1 Corinthians 14:40), we know that He was obedient, respectful, clean and tidy, and always helped with the family chores. Right up until His death His parent’s safety and welfare was on his mind (John 19:25-27).

Jesus loved His parents. He honored them as His heavenly Father commanded. Do you? He wanted to help them, respect and obey them. Do you want to help, respect and obey your parents? If not, there’s the reason you don’t get along with them. There’s a cause for your unhappiness.

We are told to honor our parents so that we may have a long, happy and prosperous life. “Honour thy father and thy mother: that thy days may be long upon the land which the Lord thy God giveth thee” (Exodus 20:12). It is so important to God, He made it one of His Ten Commandments.

Like Jesus, being obedient and respectful to your parents (even when there is a misunderstanding) will ensure that you are specially blessed. Put this to the test in your life. Follow Christ’s example. Build a stronger relationship with your parents. Remember, loving, honoring and obeying your parents is a command (Ephesians 6:1-3). By doing so, you’ll receive the reward of a long, happy life filled with exciting experiences—and you’ll know that it was because you honored your parents.