Of all the pressures I faced as a teenager, the pressure to date and go steady was high on the list. To have a steady boyfriend or girlfriend was somewhat of a status symbol. Times haven’t changed that much. If anything, it is MORE this way today.

Society, particularly Western culture, puts a lot of emphasis on romance and sex. Teens and even pre-teens are influenced by these trends—to think that these years of their lives are to be years of romance and that “dating” means having intimate dinners, weekends, even physical intimacy with a special someone.

Television, movies and music openly display these twisted views of what romance and dating should be—pressuring kids to date exclusively and find “love” before marriage while at the same time, oddly enough, de-emphasizing these things AFTER marriage.

But this culture’s influence is not making the world a better, more loving place. Many teenagers feel more pressure and undue burden than they should during these years, while many marriages are failing miserably. Something is wrong. And the answer to many of these problems could be answered with knowledge of proper dating principles.

You Should Date!

You, as a teen, SHOULD date! But how? Certainly not frequent one-on-one dates, since they should be saved for a time when you are ready for greater commitment. But this is only one type of dating.

Many teens participate in another type of dating, one that is perfectly acceptable—one that actually should be enjoyed during the teen years. You may not consider it dating, but good dating habits START here: with active, wholesome group dating.

Though group dating does not lead directly to marriage, as one-on-one dating can, it helps prepare you for all sorts of life’s opportunities. Through group dating, you develop strong social skills and better friendships, and learn more about how both sexes operate. On top of all that, there’s everything you can learn when your group dates are productive, service-oriented activities or educational outings. Group dating can groom you for better double dates and one-on-one dates. It can, indirectly, prepare you for a stable, happy marriage.

Why Group Dating?

But let’s not get ahead of ourselves. Why should you desire to group date, when everything around you pushes you to pursue the romantic candlelit dinners and the walks on the beach? Is one-on-one dating really that much more fun? Is saying that you only group date such an embarrassing admission? What is so fun about group dating that would make you willing to wait for the other kinds of dating till later?

Dates—or, more simply, get-togethers or outings of various sorts—that involve members of both sexes with no one specifically paired with another are an enriching part of teen life (assuming, of course, that you are in a good group).

Let’s examine some specific advantages of group dating.

• Being on a group date is LESS PRESSURE. If you make a silly mistake, there is safety in numbers.
  
  Say, out to dinner, you spill a little water as you take a sip. It might cause a big laugh in a group (where you could laugh along too), whereas, on a one-on-one date, it could be much more embarrassing.
  
  On heavier dates, you may feel as if every aspect of your appearance—the way you walk, the way you chew—is on grand display. On a group date, every little thing you do and say isn’t as exposed; things can get lost in the crowd.
  
  
• On a somewhat related note, a group date is INSURANCE AGAINST A BORING DATE. Going on an exclusive date might be a huge flop if you end up not really getting along with the person you are with—if neither one of you can think of anything to talk about, and the time passes awkwardly and slowly.
  
  
• Group activities can also be highly EDUCATIONAL. You can learn certain skills, for instance, if your group goes rollerblading and you’ve never done that before. Others in the group can help you, whether it’s rollerblading or studying or knowing which piece of silverware to use at a nice restaurant.
  
  You can also learn things, as alluded to earlier, about other people. When you are in a mixed group, you can learn many things about the opposite sex—even about your own gender—and what basic needs and characteristics they have. You can also learn things about yourself, how you interact with people, what things you have to offer a group.
  
  
• Group dates HELP YOU AVOID WRONG RELATIONSHIPS. As you learn about others and yourself, you will be more prepared later in life when you begin to narrow your focus for a mate.
  
  Also, staying in a group setting will help you avoid getting romantically involved too early. Of course, there are certain people within the group (guys or girls) that your personality will “click” with a little more. But the whole purpose of the group outing is to diffuse any feelings that you are falling for a specific someone. When you do this, you begin to limit yourself to one person and become burdened by a heavy romantic relationship at an age when you should be spreading your wings, enjoying the scenery of teenagehood and having fun with all types of personalities.
  
  Nothing can complicate a circle of friends more than when one person of the group begins to pair off with another. When you are in a group, you need to be sure you are giving of yourself to everyone.
  
  
• This way, group dating BUILDS STRONG FRIENDSHIPS. As you learn about others and yourself, you learn what makes friendships last, what wins people over, what makes them laugh, and how to handle offenses diplomatically.

The more you enrich your life through group dating—the more you give of yourself to the people in your group—the more you will have to offer when the time comes for you to narrow your focus to a few people, with more exclusive dates, as you prepare for a lasting, blissful marriage.

Meanwhile, cherish the teen years as a period to have good, exciting, fun times with other wholesome teens—to develop yourself and your friendships. That is what is so fun about group dating: not being pressured to limit yourself to one person, but enjoying a good time with everyone.